we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize