Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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