Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We talked him into tasing himself.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
