Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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