Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize