well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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