the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
