i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
