Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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