how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
two words...techno handjob
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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