I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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