I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
