I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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