Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
