You don't have asthma, your pregnant
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
