I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
