My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I want to make a zoo with you.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
