The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
wow bdsm is so cute
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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