you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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