evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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