you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize