she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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