Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
