haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
