I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Only a mothe r could love this liver
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
