Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
