the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
