My boss' voice literally gives me gas
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
