We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
