You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
