Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
