yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
