Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
