shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
