they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
