He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
No subtext here. People are naked.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
