It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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