it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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