There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
