If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize