Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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