Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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