he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
