I want to walk on stilts...naked
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
