Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
