During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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