i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
