Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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