my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
