Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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