My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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