And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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