Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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