Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
