So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
