I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize