either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
