just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
