No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize