The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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