A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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