I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
