Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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